Happy Anniversary, Janelle and Ed!!

A friend of mine and her husband are celebrating 9 years of marriage. And while I don’t know all the juicy details, I’m sure they’ve had to put forth some effort to stay married. Not that they’re in trouble or anything, but you know, the effort one needs to make in any marriage if one wants to stay married.

It just seems to me that marriage is falling by the wayside in this instant gratification society of ours and instead of being the marital bliss that matrimony is supposed to be, it ends up as a perceived eternity in hell.

Like Mr. Henley said:
“What are all these voices, outside Love’s open door,
Make us throw off our contentment, and beg for something more?”

We look for the chorus of Angels singing “La” and that perfect beam of light to break from the Heavens to illuminate the object of our attentions when first we meet, but I’m sorry, it never happened to me. If it you think it’s happened to you like the moves describe the myth of love at first sight, you’re either deluded or lying to yourself.

Hear me out.

You see, the angels and the beam of light don’t happen first. But what I’ve realized, now, and I bet that any couple that’s been together for a time does too, is that in order to hear the angels and see the light, you have to work your ass off first. Like Janelle and Ed have. Like Janelle’s parents. My parents were married over 50 years, it was “til death do they part” and it was work too.

Some things have become instant in our soceity: Instant soup, photos, pregnancy tests, or potatoes. And some are still going to require good old fashioned patience and work and blood and tears. Marriage isn’t about free sex and someone to cook for you. It’s also about being there when they are sick, or distracted or broke or depressed or angry or stressed. It’s about bringing them their meds, and worrying about them in the hospital, or at work, or on the road.

And that, my friends, takes work. But in the end, you finally get your angelic choir and a shaft of sunlight. And the feeling that you are with the one that is perfect for you, and that your lifetime with them will be all too brief.

Happy Anniversary, Janelle and Ed. You’ve earned it. Oh, and if it’s NOT your anniversary, then happy just-another-day-of-marital-bliss-that-you’ve-damn-well-earned day.